Hi! My name is Jenny, and welcome to beyoutefull.com!
When I was nineteen years old, from the outside, I appeared to have it all. Professionally, I was a world junior champion figure skater, a national medalist and primed to earn a spot on the U.S. Olympic team. Personally, I had wonderful friends, a gorgeous apartment on the beach in Los Angeles, a seemingly "perfect" body; younger skaters called me their idol. I appeared happy. I appeared healthy. I appeared beautiful. But in reality, the appearance was a lie.
My picture-perfect life on the outside was masking an internal battle that made getting out of bed in the morning harder than any training session. I spent every night bingeing and purging and every day starving myself in an attempt to achieve the "perfect" body. I felt overwhelmed by the pressure I was facing as a young adult living on my own and an elite athlete managing a high-pressure career. I believed my job was to please everyone around me by being "perfect," which resulted in an emptiness within that became my constant, unwanted companion.
My sole motivation was finding ways to fill that emptiness--whether it was through just one more box of cookies; a new, more exciting relationship; reaching another milestone in my skating career; or the newest lipstick, outfit or beauty trend. I was desperate to quell that internal panic that told me I somehow wasn't enough. At the time, I believed there was no one who could possible relate to or understand my crumbling self-esteem, my distorted body image and the pressure I felt as an elite athlete. I felt all alone.
Over a decade later, the struggles of my adolescence have become roadblocks that I have successfully busted through. Through this journey, I have learned that the solution for the emptiness I lived with couldn't be found at the bottom of a bag of chips, by looking a certain way, by "winning" someone's love or through another skating title; the fullness that I was seeking was something that only I could provide myself. The solution was within me all along. And, if you're facing similar struggles and feeling like you're just not enough, the solution is within you, too.
My goal is to share with you what I've learned--and continue to learn--to help you realize the strength and beauty that has always been within you, which will give you everything you've ever wanted. As an MSW student at Columbia University and a figure skating coach, I have a passion for helping others and am so excited to share this journey with you :)